In this fourth step we are becoming more practical. It is great to have beautiful plans and resolutions, but habits are hard things to break and before you know it, a week has passed without you even remembering to do things differently.
Look at your starfish and start with the most practical things you have written down in the segments ‘start’ and ‘do more of’. What will it take for you to take those actions? When will you do this?
I have my diary, which is not digital, right here on my desk as I write this. Towards the end of this month, I have already scheduled a few days off. Those are perfect days to declutter the house and start creating artwork for this blog. I’m also putting a note-to-self in my calendar mid January to decide which days to take off in the following months so I can declutter my work space and sort out the possessions in boxes stored at my parent’s house. By sticking to this practice I will have decluttered everything by the full moon in Capricorn mid July.
Exploring my attitude to (making) money is a topic I will bring to my next session with the coach I work with. She and I take it in turns to coach each other and those sessions are a tremendous help.
Planning future larger expenses is also scheduled for late January. It is easy to combine this with filing my VAT and annual tax return. All in the same admin and finance session so to speak.
What other actions does the starfish speak of? Looking for new projects in slightly different places. That’s a big one. How can I break this down into small steps and when will be a realistic time to take those?
At this moment I have four paid projects I am working on, one I am wrapping up and one or two new ones that still need to be scheduled. There is no immediate rush to find new work for another month, which allows me to prepare properly for the search.
I will devote time and thought to each of the three areas I would like to do more work in (coaching children and students; transformational processes in cultural organisations; interviews on stage) by updating my portfolio and reaching out to the relevant people and places. I might also use some of the coaching sessions with my friend to help me find the right words and ways to present my skills and experience. I’m putting all of this on the calendar for February when my third house of – among other things – communication comes into focus.
What else is left to schedule? In the ‘start’ category only one thing is left: shifting my focus within. What I mean by this, is that I no longer want to be extremely alert and aware of the outside world, but instead feel grounded, centred and balanced and trust that I am safe, looked after and whole. This is obviously far less easy to schedule than writing a resume or revising a budget. Thankfully I am already working with a very good therapist who is helping me find relief from trauma and fear. Tuning down the hyper vigilance to common-and-garden sensitivity is part of the work we do together. I will not schedule this separately, but I know the sessions will continue to have a beneficial effect on my self-worth.
What I am scheduling in, is a daily meditation practice. This will help me become less reactive when it comes to fear, negative thoughts and feelings, and it will also support me in saying ‘no’ to the type of work I promised myself to longer spend so much time on.
For this is the final dream to translate into an action. I have said I want to do less unpaid or poorly paid work and less ‘operational’ work. The first step here, as always, is awareness. Writing the inventory has made me aware that I easily put more work on my plate, that I often underestimate how long things actually take, that I forget there are other things that need to be done as well, such as cleaning the house and buying food.
All of this will probably come up for review next month as the third house does not only cover communication, but also daily life and rituals. I will however already have to be mindful now of what I say ‘yes’ to. And I will have to start saying ‘no’ more often.
This is not something to schedule, but it is something to remember whenever a request comes in. Note to self: I will have to remember to pause before I respond. Just pause. Not react. Take a breath. Or two. Take an entire day if I need to. And once I have been able to check-in with myself, give my answer. Bearing in mind what Stephen Covey says: ‘You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage— pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.’
There is one more thing left to schedule: moments for checking-in to see how I am doing. You can find guidance on such check-ins right here. I would recommend doing them once a week to support you in your practice. Other ways to help you as you are taking your steps can be found in the next blog post.
Summary of the actions I have just put on my calendar:
- week 1 – inventory / starfish / steps / intention
- week 2 – start daily mediation practice / weekly check-in
- week 3 – bring topics to coaching / plan days off for further decluttering in the following months / weekly check-in
- week 4 – daily meditation / revise financial plans / declutter house / start creating artwork for this website / weekly check-in
- week 5 – plan portfolio updates for February
In week 5 we will have the new moon in Aquarius, which means we shall be moving on to the themes of the following house. On 13 July 2022, the topics we are working on this January come back into focus briefly. The full moon in Capricorn is a beautiful moment to look back on the changes we are beginning to create right now.
My rising sign 