This is the second check-in on the steps I planned to take related to my assets, resources and self-worth. A simple guide for checking in can be found right here.
Scheduled for this week was… more scheduling! As I was writing the inventory of House II themes, I realised that my possessions are taking up more space than I would like. I don’t mind a bit of chaos, but I do know that I feel a lot better when my living and work spaces are clear, light and don’t have too much stuff in them. Another reason for decluttering, is that I want to create space for new experiences. And finally, a house move might be on the cards, and I would prefer to travel light.
So now I have chosen a few days each month where I will not be available for meetings or providing copy. Those are days to declutter my studio and sort through boxes with my name on them stored in my parent’s place.
The only other thing on the list, was keeping up the meditation practice, which I did, and checking in, which I am doing right now.
The final part of the check-in, is to look at the week ahead and see if the things you planned to do can still happen. I have actually planned quite a few things:
- daily meditation
- coaching session on attitude to (making) money
- revise financial plans
- declutter house
- start creating artwork for this website
- weekly check-in
The coaching session was meant to happen sooner, but my coach was not available. I have now called in another coaching friend and she will explore the topic with me.
As for the other ‘things to do’: this may seem like a lot, and in any other week it would have been too many new things, but I had already scheduled some time off to do exactly this: declutter the house and sort out my admin. Creating the artwork is something I consider a really nice way to spend downtime, so that should fit in perfectly. However, I am glad I looked at the plans now, because otherwise I might have accepted invitations to meet up with friends or allow other activities to fill my calendar. It would not have been the first time I would say: ‘It is actually my day off, but don’t worry, I’ll write that newsletter for you.’
Before wrapping up, I would like to add that the rather vague step ‘shifting my focus within’ is actually becoming less and less abstract. In a recent session my therapist and I explored the origins of my tendency to focus my attention outward at the expense of what is present inside me. Not only was I able to understand how this came about, I could also feel what it was like before all that happened. It was a great relief to be able to reconnect to the three year old girl wrapped up inside me. She felt fun and trusting, warm and kind. She was filled with joy, delight and excitement. It will take time and practice, but having experienced that this is what I am naturally like and that all the rest was added on later, helps to clear whatever mechanisms I no longer need. It helps to stay present, centred and grounded. To not allow the feelings, expectations and opinions of others, nor my self-imposed expectations, which are often the most difficult to meet, determine how I feel.
And so, the intention I set a few weeks ago, is starting to make sense: I allow my body to release the fear and set my spirit free. The outward focus, which is diminishing my self-worth, is essentially fear-based. Allowing my body, where so much of this fear has been stored for many, many years, to release and let go, creates space for my true self and her free spirit.
My rising sign 