The third house encompasses a range of interconnected themes. I shall first list the most important of them, and will then make a selection of themes that feel most urgent for me, at this point in my life, to further explore. You might choose different themes, according to what speaks to you at this time. I would encourage you to include at least one theme that evokes some resistance instead of simply picking the ‘easier’ ones.
The third house is the house of daily life, daily rituals, neighbours and neighbourhood, local travel, short trips and short-term plans. All things close to home, so to speak. It is also the house of siblings, cousins and other extended family and close friends who feel like family. Another very important theme that this house is associated with, is communication in all shapes and forms: developing and exchanging ideas, mental stimulation, thoughts, information, data, media, language skills, writing, speaking etc.
In this blog I want to be as open and transparent as I can about the topics that I am exploring. At the same time, I want to be mindful of my loved ones and disclose as little information about my relationship with them and about my home life as possible.
But even without sharing those details about my daily life, I can name a few things that I would like to further address in the weeks ahead. The first is that a very large part of my daily activities involve thinking and mental effort. My work often requires reflecting, planning and writing. I also tend to spend a lot of time in my mind before, during and after the sessions with my therapist. If I seek to distract myself from worrying (another mental activity) the first option is often to just do a little extra work. Even the activities I choose to relax and unwind are cognitive: I often start writing or reading up on things I am interested in.
The second thing that struck me about my daily life, is the lack of structure in my workweek as a result of my outward focus. Most of the projects I am working on right now do not need to happen at a specific time. 90% of the work needs to be done by me, on my own, before a certain deadline, but it is up to me to determine my office hours. And so it seems as if I have all the time in the world. When others, who do have a strict schedule, want to meet with me, I often adjust to the time they suggest. I easily sacrifice time I had planned to spend differently or I might hold off scheduling my own activities until they have made up their mind about the meeting.
The third thing to mention, are my waking and sleeping hours. In recent weeks I have rarely gone to bed before midnight. The quality of my sleep has not been great. It has, for various reasons, been a rather stressful time. Often I would wake up well before dawn, disturbed by worry and fear. In times like these it does not help if I have been drinking wine at dinner or later in the evening. It might have helped me feel calmer briefly, but it also negatively affects the quality of my sleep. And after such a restless night, getting up and running the next morning takes a while.
The fourth and final thing to note about my daily life, is the very basic concept of cleaning and doing chores. I never fail to underestimate the time it takes to keep everything free of clutter, to cook and simply wash the dishes and do the laundry. It all gets done eventually, and I am glad it does. Living and working in a clean, calm, organised environment helps to counterbalance my wildly active mind. There is however very little structure in this part of the daily activities, and I often find that very frustrating.
Closely connected to daily life, are the daily rituals. I have been looking forward to addressing this theme, because I long for – again – more structure and more of a rhythm in my days. At this moment, I would not say I have proper daily rituals in place. The ones I am thinking of developing, would be routines that help me be more present and put my physical self first, look after it with extra care and give it all the love and nourishment that it deserves and needs. I would also like to incorporate a more spiritual form of meditation and a gratitude practice into my days.
In the second part of this House III inventory, I shall be looking at siblings and close friends who feel like family.
My rising sign 