This is the third and final check-in on the steps I planned to take related to my assets, resources and self-worth. A simple guide for checking in can be found right here.
Always start by appreciating the good news. Challenge the negative bias that our minds have been gifted with and just look at the things you got right. Even if your entire ‘steps-to-do-list’ is staring at you without any strike-throughs: you are here. You are checking in and showing up. And that is really good news.
These are the steps I got done:
daily meditationcoaching session on attitude to (making) moneyrevise financial plansweekly check-in
Well, I am typing up the check-in a new week, but the handwritten draft was already there. No further comments on that, nor on the daily meditation.
The coaching session brought some really unexpected insights. The vague reluctance and resistance I noticed around ‘money’ and ‘making money’ was actually connected to negative experiences I have had, sometimes on a very subconscious level, in my professional life. It wasn’t the money itself, nor the concept of ‘making good money’, but the association with people and situations I have encountered in places where I or others made money.
Part of me very kindly wanted to keep me from going back to such places, from re-entering the realm, which for now I shall describe as ‘the corporate world’. It was simply afraid I might get hurt. In a separate blog post I have written about these insights in more detail. Being aware of this hurt allows me to first of all be very gentle to myself as I allow it to heal. I also feel encouraged to think properly about my boundaries, and get very clear on them before approaching organisations for new projects.
Because, yes, I will try and find new projects, more in line with my talents and aspirations, in the near future. I have revised my budget and set higher targets from July onwards. The plan is to work on my portfolio and how to communicate what I have to offer in February (this ties in nicely with one of the themes of House III), then find the work in March and April and start the new projects in May or June. I will not start sooner because other work has already been scheduled and I want to keep space in my calendar for writing this blog as well.
Then there are two things I have not yet ticked off:
- declutter the house
- create artwork for this website
In the check-in it is always worth asking: what did you do instead? Remember to be kind and curious. You are asking this question to get yourself back on track, not to tell yourself off.
Part of the reason why I haven’t started decluttering the house or making artwork yet, is because I spent time writing blog posts. I really wanted to type up my notes from the coaching session and gave that priority over the other ‘to-do’s’.
I have also spent quite some time on my inventory for House III, in which, interestingly, I have come to realise that if I take some time off work, I am used to spend it writing rather than painting or clearing space in the house. So yes, there is an excuse, for not doing what I said I would do. But also: asking myself what happened and what I did instead, is showing me that there is a pattern to be broken: less mind work, more hand work. How very convenient that this is already on the list for the upcoming weeks.
Another reason for not spending time doing what I promised I would do, is that things have actually started to shift. I have found two people to whom I can delegate work so I can take a step back and do less of the practical, operational tasks. I spent some of the time I initially took off talking through the details with them and sending them information.
And now, as we wrap up the check-in, the final step is to look at the week ahead. What needs to happen? Is everything set? Can you perhaps find time for the things you did not get round to this week?
The week ahead is the week of the new moon in Aquarius, so it is the beginning of a new theme. If I’m realistic, I will not be able to do all the decluttering or all the artwork, but I can make a start. Getting started is already half the work.
My rising sign 