This is the first out of three check-ins I have scheduled between the new moon in Aquarius, early February, and the new moon in Pisces, early March. In my natal chart, Aquarius is the sign where I have my third house of (among others) daily life and rituals, siblings and close friends and communication. After making an inventory of these themes, I identified what I want to invite into my life and what it is I am prepared to let go of. You can find both these inventories and my list of things to keep, do more of, start, do less of or stop, right here.
The weeks when the moon is waxing, are great for calling forth the things you would like to create, build and grow. I therefore decided to focus on ‘daily life and rituals’ first; this is an area where I am keen to develop new habits and structures.
I say structures, but interestingly, the first thing that has really improved, actually got better without me making any lists or schedules. I said I would structure chores, but already the intention to stay on top of it, has shifted something. It has become a bit of a competition even to not leave any piles of laundry or washing-up, but to keep all surfaces clear.
This slight competitiveness is not something I have ever experienced before when it comes to clearing away laundry. But it is different now that doing my chores has become part of this practice. Because I care more. I want this all to work. It matters to me. I really would love to experience more light and ease in my life.
It also helps to be very clear on the reasons why I am taking extra care of the house I live in: I want my immediate environment to be a place where it is clear, peaceful and warm. I also want to alternate mental and physical activities, because that too makes me feel better.
And now I find myself extending each coffee, tea or lunch break with an extra ten to fifteen minutes to do some tidying up. Even though I have only adopted this new approach to the chores ten days ago, some momentum is already building. What is wonderful about clearing and cleaning, is that it is (a) really simple and (b) there is an instant result to feel good about. I am sharing this, because I think it might help others: feeling good will encourage you to keep going and tackle the more complex tasks as well. That is why small, actionable steps are so important. Celebrating the successes is energising. It helps keep the hoping machine running.
What I have also noticed, is that I am taking more time to prepare food and healthy snacks. When I’m giving the kitchen an extra clean, it is easy to check the supplies, plan ahead and make sure the fresh ingredients are well stocked up on. Keeping my energy levels up by eating regularly makes a huge difference to my overall sense of calm and wellbeing.
Another intention that came up as I wrote about the third house, was to more consciously weave several mind-body-and-spirit practices into my daily life. I had already gathered quite a few of those practices in recent years, but did not consistently keep them up.
As with the chores: knowing I was about to address this part of my life helped. From the new moon onwards, I have been taking daily supplements designed to help promote energy, health, and vitality. When I tried to get into this habit before, it didn’t work, but this time it’s going really well. It is a little too soon to say what the benefits are, but I trust that I will be able to tell when I look back around the full moon in Aquarius in August.
The supplements will nourish my skin from the inside out, but I am also looking to support it from the outside in. Incorporating essential oils in my skincare routine is still on the list of ‘things-to-do’. What I have already done though, is starting an online face yoga course.
Until the course found its way into my inbox, I had no idea anything like face yoga existed, but I am really enjoying it. The 21 day program consists of exercises to strengthen as well as relax the face muscles, combined with acupressure and breath work. There are tips on skincare and well-being too and this is really just what I needed to develop a routine: someone talking me through 20 minutes of self-care on a daily basis.
Another online course, offered by the same platform, which I am very glad to have found, is devoted to prayer. I have first taken this course a few years ago and as the lessons were mine to keep, I often come back to it.
Because I intended to incorporate a spiritual form of meditation in my days as well, I decided to go over each of the 21 lessons again, one per day, and see what that would bring me.
Once we get to the ninth house of, among many other things, spirituality, we will look at this theme more closely. For now, I would like to briefly mention that the word ‘prayer’ might immediately make you think of religion. It is actually much broader. ‘Prayer,’ as is explained early on in the course, ‘is not owned by any religion. It existed long before the first religions did.’ The course teacher describes prayer as a deep human instinct to turn to something bigger than ourselves for guidance and support. Some might call it God, some call it the Universe, others call it Love. And that is exactly what developing a spiritual practice means to me; trusting that I am not on my own, that I am part of something much bigger that is always there to help me.
I did not grow up with religion, nor with any kind of spirituality. But at some point in my thirties, the mechanisms that had always served to protect me, began to hurt. I no longer wanted my mind to rationalise away my feelings about past events. Nor did I want it to keep trying to predict everything that would happen in the future. I no longer recognised the need to control as my own need. It did not feel right anymore. What I did relate to, was what Elizabeth Gilbert said: ‘You’re afraid of surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control. All you ever had was anxiety.’
That is how I realised it was time to start putting my trust in something bigger than myself. Life, the Universe, Love. And that is why, when Daily OM offered the online prayer course in one of their newsletters, I decided to take it. To this day I am very glad I did.
What is interesting now, is that I am listening to the lessons with a new focus. The first time round, I was in fact still operating from a need to control: if I say this prayer, I might keep danger at bay. This time, I am much more intentional about releasing the illusion of control and trusting that something bigger than myself, some immense, benevolent force for good, is lovingly holding all of us, and is indeed holding me too.
To strengthen this new way of seeing, I will add a gratitude practice to my daily routines. In a small notebook I will simply write four things I am grateful for every evening. There are prayers and meditations to accompany this practice if I feel like it, but I will just see what feels right per day.
The final routine or ritual to incorporate into my day is one to help me be more present. There are actually two things that come to mind here. The first is alternate nostril breathing (nadi shodhan pranayama), which I would like to add to my morning routine. The second is the daily meditation that came up as a ‘do more of’ as I was reviewing my second house. I have been listening to different guided meditations on a daily basis since then, but not at a specific time of day. For the next couple of weeks I would like to try if I can make it a set feature of my late afternoon. That is the time of day when the mind is already quite full with impressions, ideas, thoughts. It will be good to schedule a little break from all that mental chatter. I could listen to the meditation on a short walk, on the train home or whilst having a cup of tea by myself.
There are four more items on the daily life and rituals list I want to address, and those concern my evening schedule:
- no more working late
- no more wine to unwind
- going to bed well before midnight
- getting enough sleep
Earlier this week, I decided enough was enough: pouring an extra glass of wine after dinner had become too much of a habit in recent stressful months. Instead of cutting out the ‘wine to unwind’, I have cut out drinking alcohol altogether. It turned out the wine had not only served to feel a little more calm, it had also kept me up while I was actually really tired. Now that I was only drinking tea, I started noticing much earlier in the evening that it was time to call it a day. Instead of trying to get some more writing or work done, I just gave in to the tiredness and went to bed, exactly as planned, well before midnight. This only leaves ‘getting enough sleep’ on the list of ‘things to do’. Despite turning in on time, I have not slept through the night as well as I hoped I would, but I guess this will improve over the course of the following weeks as more of the routines are beginning to take effect.
Also scheduled for this past week, was a coaching session on professional communication and work. This was really quite extraordinary. At the end of the session I had a very clear description of both the type of coaching, training and advice I offer and the people and organisations I do my best work with. This covers two out of three types of work I want to update my portfolio on. The third, interviewing people, artists often, and other types of public speaking, is one we will look at next time.
We also explored different ways to communicate my offering. This helped me realise that a simple website and referral by my clients would not only suit me best, but is also the common route in the arts and in education, the areas I prefer to work in. No need to use LinkedIn or social media if I don’t want to; I can mention my website there and leave it at that.
Before wrapping up this check-in, there are two more things to address. The first is to go over the items I listed as keep doing what I love and siblings and close friends, simply to keep them top of mind. At this moment I do not really have any news about these topics, but I look forward to seeing what the gratitude practice brings.
The second and last thing is the week ahead. Is the planning still realistic? Is there any support I might need? Looking at the calendar, I think I should be fine. It features: daily life and rituals, doing the work and the weekly check-in. As part of doing the work, I will have to spend some time exploring what came up as I sat with the inventories and tuned in to my feelings about them: conflicting emotions around people who were once much more present in my life than they are now.
This conflict came up again in my coaching session and seems related to the power dynamics in previous work places, the topic that surfaced last month. To begin with, I will take this information to my therapist and see if she can help me find more clarity. There is a full moon coming up, which can actually shed light at what we call shadow aspects of our selves and our lives. This is not always easy, but if you take time to process, it can be very helpful, healing and freeing.
My rising sign 